I surfed yesterday.
It was the second time since my heart attack, but the first time on my short board and in decent sized waves.
Chrysten and Cara came along to keep me company, since I was advised not to paddle out alone. And we surfed a very familiar ‘beginners’ spot – Shores.
So conditions should’ve been ideal to get back in the saddle. But something was off.
My confidence was hesitating.
Paddling out, the sets weren’t huge, but they were closing out. And something in me was unsettled about the situation while punching through the white water. Even though I wasn’t quite sure what it was.
Twice, I found myself simply sitting on my board on the inside, unable to get out to the lineup.
Even in the middle of a crisis, sometimes the best thing to do is to stop and take a moment to assess what’s going on. To mentally reset and quickly come up with a course of action.
It was a simple choice. I could turn tail and try another day. Some might say is the safe and wise choice. Or I get control of my thoughts and determine to get out there. Push a little harder.
Within 5 minutes, I was out in the lineup, enjoying the moment.
The rest of the session was a success. Not because I caught a bunch of epic waves and shredded. No, it was all closing out. I even got pitched on takeoff and drilled to the bottom on one wave.
But my confidence level came back.
Physically, I felt good going through a few stress tests. And mentally, I once again felt my place out in the ocean.
After catching a couple of waves, I was reassured and comfortable about my experience and abilities. Capabilities.
That, and seeing my girls developing their own skills and confidence on the inside, made for a very good day.